Admissions (ad mish' uns): things confessed. I've heard that confessions are good for the soul. I'm releasing some of mine so that I can continue to heal and be the woman God wants me to be, the wife Joe deserves, the mother my children deserve, the friend my friends deserve, the daughter my parents deserve, and the sister my siblings deserve. Only when I have achieved these things will I be the woman that I want to be.
Admission 1- Coaching can be a tiring profession and the Borich family is tired. We have been tired for a while now. We felt like we were just in a rough patch, though, and we hadn't earned the rite of passage to the ideal job yet. The majority of coaching families experience rough patches-it's the nature of the beast. The beast in control of the coaching life is a nasty bitch, though, that had an unrelenting hold on our lives.
Admission 2- I was a poor coach's wife, and for once I don't make this reference monetarily. My parents were at every game I danced or cheered at, every play or concert, every EVERYTHING! I was resentful that Joe couldn't be at Mykah's soccer games or school functions. I was also anticipating more heartache as the boys get older and involved in their own stuff. I found myself already dreading being the only Borich parent on the sidelines or in the audience, and the boys are only 4 and 2. What I was supposed to do was put on my fake happy face and convince everyone that it worked for our family. Everyone reading this knows that's not one of my strengths! I sucked at it and I can't say that I would change it if I could.
Admission 3- I'm a nerd. I am! I love school and I'm really good at it. I believe that is a gift from God and I want to develop it. It's hard to have any goals outside of football when football controls our lives, and I felt horribly selfish for wanting to have the opportunity to stay in school. Most of the coach's wives that I know are (or at least seem) so selfless, not selfish. However, I have talked to some who do what I've been doing, which is say the "right" thing about the unique characteristics of the coaching profession. Meanwhile, her heart is breaking under the continuous sacrifices that coaching requires.
Admission 4- Joe has been struggling. I knew when he told me he wanted to get his Master's degree that his faith in the coaching profession was wavering. Joe is just traditional enough that he feels people should be rewarded and punished based on their own merit. Coaching doesn't necessarily work that way. A football coach can be fired just because he works for an unethical, morally corrupt person. A football coach can be jobless based solely on another's poor decisions, including those of mentally deficient 18-22 year old boys. The opposite is also true. A piss-poor coach can be ridiculously successful on another's shoulder pads.
Admission 5- Coaching is a social network. Joe has many friends and acquaintances throughout the profession. But he never wanted to solicit those friends for jobs. He believes that when it comes to a job like the one at TU, he shouldn't have to have everyone he knows flood the Athletic Director with recommendations. We'll never know if that would have made a difference in the AD's decision, and it doesn't matter to us. We accept the decision as God's will for our family.
Admission 6- We dreaded moving to Tiffin. We passed up the opportunity in 2009, then resisted all thoughts of Tiffin until Joe accepted the job as a last resort in February. We know now that God allowed us a second chance to come here, and we almost blew it again! As we pulled into town close to midnight on April 24th, 2010, I was completely void of optimism.
Then we fell in love in a very short amount of time! We fell in love with the university, the YMCA, our church, our babysitter (and her family), my part-time job... we fell in love with the ENTIRE community and all it offers. We truly believe that God wants us here, and we were absolutely devastated when Joe didn't get the job we wanted. At the time, that was the only way we could be here, so now what?!!
Admission7- It's time for a change. Joe was offered a job as an Admissions Counselor for TU. Yesterday, he accepted it. We will be staying in Tiffin and both continuing our educations. Instead of recruiting players, he'll recruit students. He'll work Monday through Friday, with the occasional Saturday for a college function.
Turns out that Joe was also silently struggling with the kind of dad he wants to be. His parents were like mine. They came to all of his games and he has not been able to handle being absent. How can he be like his wonderful father if his lifestyle prevents doing so?
Another struggle Joe had was being tied to another person-good, bad, or indifferent. It's almost impossible to let your light shine when someone's shadow completely covers it! Now, Joe will be held accountable for Joe's performance. Period.
We have decided to be a "normal" family since the opportunity presented itself. We feel that this job shares some characteristics with coaching and will provide some balance to Joe's life, to my life, and to the lives of our children. We feel this opportunity is God showing His will for us and we are excited to see where it leads and the doors and windows it opens. We still believe the coaching door had to be slammed in our faces to make us turn this direction. For now, that helps take some of the sting out of the rejection we can't help but feel from the coaching job.
Coaching is a family decision and the Borich family is choosing to take a break. Thanks to our families for your constant and unwavering support. You deserve a break from the craziness, too! We don't know if this Admissions job is the best decision, but we feel it's the right one for our family at this moment in our lives, which seem to be sailing by too quickly. Ultimately there is no way to know if the decisions we make are the perfect ones, so we do the best we can through prayer and faith.
This will be my last post to "The Coaching Life...by a Coach's Wife." When I post next, I will change the title to "Team Borich" because our family is the team that matters most. The Bengals, Big Red, and Dragons will just be teams we cheered for along the way. All of our stops will be part of our unique story that I will continue to share as it unfolds.
God Bless You, for He has surely blessed us! Thanks for stopping by...
TEAM BORICH: "The Coaching Life...by a Coach's Wife" ~We live, we laugh, we love...then I blog.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Friday, December 24, 2010
The Reason for the Season
Of all the ways we could say Merry Christmas, we thought Max said it best. Merry Christmas from our family to yours!
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Sanity Slowly Returns
To our dear friends and family,
Thank you for all of your prayers and support during the last very long and painful month! We are so grateful for each and every one of you. As you may or may not know, Joe did not get the job that we wanted.
Please know, without a doubt, that we are okay. If you were on my blog yesterday and earlier today, you saw a very raw reaction that included my most personal feelings and thoughts. I removed the post because we are ready to move forward. We don't exactly know which direction "forward" is, but we will let you all know when we do.
There are only 2 thoughts that I will re-post:
Sometimes, we need a door slammed in our faces to turn our eyes so we can see something greater.
This poem is my favorite and will be heavy on my mind as we face our future...
One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord. Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
Thank you for all of your prayers and support during the last very long and painful month! We are so grateful for each and every one of you. As you may or may not know, Joe did not get the job that we wanted.
Please know, without a doubt, that we are okay. If you were on my blog yesterday and earlier today, you saw a very raw reaction that included my most personal feelings and thoughts. I removed the post because we are ready to move forward. We don't exactly know which direction "forward" is, but we will let you all know when we do.
There are only 2 thoughts that I will re-post:
Sometimes, we need a door slammed in our faces to turn our eyes so we can see something greater.
This poem is my favorite and will be heavy on my mind as we face our future...
Footprints in the Sand
One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord. Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand. Sometimes there were two sets of footprints, other times there was one only.
This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life, when I was suffering from anguish, sorrow or defeat, I could see only one set of footprints, so I said to the Lord,
“You promised me Lord,
that if I followed you, you would walk with me always. But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life there has only been one set of footprints in the sand. Why, when I needed you most, have you not been there for me?”
The Lord replied, “The years when you have seen only one set of footprints, my child, is when I carried you.”
________________________________________
Mary Stevenson, 1936
We have ultimate faith in God. We know He sees us and He loves us. We know His plans for us are flawless, and someday we will understand...
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
A Prayer Answered (as only God can)
As some of you may know, we have been waiting to find out if we get to stay in Tiffin, or if we will need to move on. The decision is to be made on Friday (in 2 days but who's counting?!) and I am going crazy this week. With the exception of each Sunday, where I fall apart in church, I have been holding together pretty well. When our season ended a month ago, we knew we were in for major changes again. Joe interviewed for the position of head coach on December 2 and 3rd. He was the first interview, so we've had to wait while others are shown around our gem of a school and town that we have fallen head over heels in love with. The final candidate is here today and tomorrow, but the AD has told us that he will act quickly and have a decision on Friday- (BTW~Happy Birthday Friday, Kevin! ♥ Moo)
Now that you are up to speed, I can proceed to my not so subtly answered prayer. I do not want to wish away time-I know how precious it is. Instead, I've been praying for ways to pass the time as I get more anxious. We have so much to lose if Joe doesn't get the job and we'll have a lot of decisions to make. We remain hopeful because we strongly feel that we are not done here yet. But there is always that part of us that tries to prepare for the worst case scenario. That part is the one that I have been busily trying to keep preoccupied with other thoughts so that I don't stray into that territory unless I absolutely have to.
One of my keep busy projects is to fix the kitchen faucet. It's not broken, per se, but it doesn't swivel. We are renting our home, and if it were broken, I could just call our landlord. Since it isn't broken (yet), I thought I could give it a go. My brother Trevor knows everything about faucets and now I have a plumber in my family, so I can totally take this project on, right?! So I'm crammed into the cupboard beneath the kitchen sink, trying to contort my body into this miniscule space to tighten the nuts that secure the faucet to the sink. (Thanks, by the way, to Trevor for an extremely sarcastic description of a bolt versus a nut, which I didn't need!)
Bodie starts yapping like mad, and I think to myself, "Oh good. Joe's home early and is going to ask what I broke! This will be fun..." Then there's a crash in the sink, which is very loud when your face is smooshed right up next to it! I unfold myself and crawl out from under ready to lash out at Joe for throwing something into the sink for his own amusement. But Joe is nowhere around, and Bodie is still yapping like crazy, directing his gaze to the window above the sink. I look into the sink and it's one of my frogs that normally sit on the windowsill. As I'm thinking, What the *%^!, I notice that there is a bird sitting where my frog had been (yes, a real LIVE bird). I lean in thinking I have finally lost my friggin' mind and the little sucker starts going crazy!
So, as I'm tripping over all the bottles that are normally under my sink, waving my arms above my head, my dog is barking and this damn bird starts flying all around my house. (Don't judge unless you've been in this situation!) We live in a really old house that has awesome original wood trim around all the windows, but it's very drafty. So we have all the windows covered with energy-saving plastic to try to keep the heat in. Well, we did have all of them covered. This bird went nuts trying to find a spot to fly outside. He hit all the windows, repeatedly, popping and tearing all of Joe's hard work as he tried to get out. Then the bird found our Christmas tree. I gotta tell you, bird's wings are loud when they are beating as fast as they can between an ornament covered tree and a wall. Again, don't judge!
Please keep in mind that Bodie is still barking like mad and chasing this bird around the house as it tries to escape. At one point, the bird landed on the windowsill right behind the couch and Bodie got him. I'm screaming at the top of my lungs for Bodie to get away. I wish I could say that I was concerned for the bird's safety, but all I could think is, "If I have to clean up dead bird guts or watch my sweet wiener dog eat a bird, I'm gonna throw up!" It is at this point that Max comes upstairs, completely freaked out, and Mykah comes home from school.
Although we've lived here for 6 months, she has had a hard time making friends. Tiffin is a small place and all the kids in her school have grown up together. Much to my dismay, when I turn around to ask her to keep the door open, she is standing there with a friend. She is standing there with a friend, who she has invited to our house for the first time in 6 months, only to find the dog going crazy, her little brother an absolute mess and her mom running around like a psycho with a broom. I pause, long enough to say nice to meet you and smile, and then it's back to work. I put them in charge of holding onto Bodie and giving Max some other pair of legs to hide behind while he cries, "No birds in the house!"
In the meantime, I tried to call Joe, who was out recruiting, to find out where he is and when he'll be home. Lucky me- he doesn't answer. I immediately called my mom, but what's she gonna do from Idaho, and while laughing?! Fully aware that this story may not seem believable, I pause when the bird finds its way to the bathroom to shoot this video from my phone... (if you stop the music from playing at the very bottom of the blog, you can hear my message to Joe on this video)
The doors in our house are situated such that you have to turn a corner to go out of each, so the bird never went anywhere near the doors. Since all the plastic covering our windows was popped anyway, I was able to open the window that the bird was repeatedly trying to fly out, remove the screens, then "coax" it out from behind the curtain with my broom, where it promptly flew away.
I still have no logical explanation of how this bird got into our house. We don't have any broken windows, but at this point it doesn't really matter. Thank you, God, for helping me to pass the time!
P.S. I posted this a couple of hours ago, but I have just gotten home from picking Max up from preschool. Their project today, NO JOKE, was to make bird feeders out of pinecones, peanut butter and birdseed. When they finished, the teachers asked the kids where they wanted to hang their feeders. All of the kids said in the tree. Except Maxie! Maxie said in my house! Thank goodness Joe filled them in on the story when he dropped Max off this morning~ but his teachers just about fell off their chairs laughing when he said his was going in his house! I think I'll hang it above the kitchen sink. And the time continues to pass...
Now that you are up to speed, I can proceed to my not so subtly answered prayer. I do not want to wish away time-I know how precious it is. Instead, I've been praying for ways to pass the time as I get more anxious. We have so much to lose if Joe doesn't get the job and we'll have a lot of decisions to make. We remain hopeful because we strongly feel that we are not done here yet. But there is always that part of us that tries to prepare for the worst case scenario. That part is the one that I have been busily trying to keep preoccupied with other thoughts so that I don't stray into that territory unless I absolutely have to.
One of my keep busy projects is to fix the kitchen faucet. It's not broken, per se, but it doesn't swivel. We are renting our home, and if it were broken, I could just call our landlord. Since it isn't broken (yet), I thought I could give it a go. My brother Trevor knows everything about faucets and now I have a plumber in my family, so I can totally take this project on, right?! So I'm crammed into the cupboard beneath the kitchen sink, trying to contort my body into this miniscule space to tighten the nuts that secure the faucet to the sink. (Thanks, by the way, to Trevor for an extremely sarcastic description of a bolt versus a nut, which I didn't need!)
Bodie starts yapping like mad, and I think to myself, "Oh good. Joe's home early and is going to ask what I broke! This will be fun..." Then there's a crash in the sink, which is very loud when your face is smooshed right up next to it! I unfold myself and crawl out from under ready to lash out at Joe for throwing something into the sink for his own amusement. But Joe is nowhere around, and Bodie is still yapping like crazy, directing his gaze to the window above the sink. I look into the sink and it's one of my frogs that normally sit on the windowsill. As I'm thinking, What the *%^!, I notice that there is a bird sitting where my frog had been (yes, a real LIVE bird). I lean in thinking I have finally lost my friggin' mind and the little sucker starts going crazy!
So, as I'm tripping over all the bottles that are normally under my sink, waving my arms above my head, my dog is barking and this damn bird starts flying all around my house. (Don't judge unless you've been in this situation!) We live in a really old house that has awesome original wood trim around all the windows, but it's very drafty. So we have all the windows covered with energy-saving plastic to try to keep the heat in. Well, we did have all of them covered. This bird went nuts trying to find a spot to fly outside. He hit all the windows, repeatedly, popping and tearing all of Joe's hard work as he tried to get out. Then the bird found our Christmas tree. I gotta tell you, bird's wings are loud when they are beating as fast as they can between an ornament covered tree and a wall. Again, don't judge!
Please keep in mind that Bodie is still barking like mad and chasing this bird around the house as it tries to escape. At one point, the bird landed on the windowsill right behind the couch and Bodie got him. I'm screaming at the top of my lungs for Bodie to get away. I wish I could say that I was concerned for the bird's safety, but all I could think is, "If I have to clean up dead bird guts or watch my sweet wiener dog eat a bird, I'm gonna throw up!" It is at this point that Max comes upstairs, completely freaked out, and Mykah comes home from school.
Although we've lived here for 6 months, she has had a hard time making friends. Tiffin is a small place and all the kids in her school have grown up together. Much to my dismay, when I turn around to ask her to keep the door open, she is standing there with a friend. She is standing there with a friend, who she has invited to our house for the first time in 6 months, only to find the dog going crazy, her little brother an absolute mess and her mom running around like a psycho with a broom. I pause, long enough to say nice to meet you and smile, and then it's back to work. I put them in charge of holding onto Bodie and giving Max some other pair of legs to hide behind while he cries, "No birds in the house!"
In the meantime, I tried to call Joe, who was out recruiting, to find out where he is and when he'll be home. Lucky me- he doesn't answer. I immediately called my mom, but what's she gonna do from Idaho, and while laughing?! Fully aware that this story may not seem believable, I pause when the bird finds its way to the bathroom to shoot this video from my phone... (if you stop the music from playing at the very bottom of the blog, you can hear my message to Joe on this video)
The doors in our house are situated such that you have to turn a corner to go out of each, so the bird never went anywhere near the doors. Since all the plastic covering our windows was popped anyway, I was able to open the window that the bird was repeatedly trying to fly out, remove the screens, then "coax" it out from behind the curtain with my broom, where it promptly flew away.
I still have no logical explanation of how this bird got into our house. We don't have any broken windows, but at this point it doesn't really matter. Thank you, God, for helping me to pass the time!
P.S. I posted this a couple of hours ago, but I have just gotten home from picking Max up from preschool. Their project today, NO JOKE, was to make bird feeders out of pinecones, peanut butter and birdseed. When they finished, the teachers asked the kids where they wanted to hang their feeders. All of the kids said in the tree. Except Maxie! Maxie said in my house! Thank goodness Joe filled them in on the story when he dropped Max off this morning~ but his teachers just about fell off their chairs laughing when he said his was going in his house! I think I'll hang it above the kitchen sink. And the time continues to pass...
Friday, November 19, 2010
A Thank You Letter
To Joe Mike, my dear father-in-law,
I am overwhelmed with gratitude to you for my life. When you came to visit us last month with your lovely wife, I was given an opportunity to realize the tremendous impact that you have had on my very blessed time with your son, who is the love of my life.
Thank you for the way you see things, because my Joe sees things the same way. Instead of seeing the modesty with which the farmers in our area live, you see their pride. Instead of seeing the boarded up doors and windows of Tiffin's old courthouse, you see the majestic beauty that it was before it got too expensive to maintain for our humble town. Instead of noticing all the empty storefronts, you find the bookstore gems wedged between them and then make friends with the owner!
Thank you for our little Max, who shares your name, but his personality is yours alone! Forever I'll carry the priceless memory of gazing out from one of the stores we were exploring during your stay only to see 3 of the most precious men in my life; my son and my husband, standing next to the man who made them my treasures-you.
Thank you for loving your wives; Shauna until the day she died, and now Kathleen, who we love and are so grateful to have as part of our family. Because of your example, my husband loves me and our children unconditionally and with a quiet fierceness that few women get to experience, and I am so grateful to you for it.
So thank you, dear Joe, for all you've given me- my husband, the wonderful man he aspires to be, for he dreams of being like you; and the father to my children, children who will grow up secure in their father's love, just like your Joey did.
Come again soon! Max still looks out the window and asks where Grandpa Joe is...We love you so much. Thank you for being you.
Love, your daughter-in-law,
Little Red
PS~here are some pictures from your trip!
Ummmmm, I think we're lost! Corn maze 1, Borich family 0
Pickin' the perfect pumpkins...
Check out the expressions of each of their faces!
Behind every great man is a great woman (and an adoring child)!
It has been our tradition since we left Pocatello to set up the camera tripod and take a family picture the night we carve pumpkins. How wonderful that for this night, we were not alone!
I am overwhelmed with gratitude to you for my life. When you came to visit us last month with your lovely wife, I was given an opportunity to realize the tremendous impact that you have had on my very blessed time with your son, who is the love of my life.
Thank you for the way you see things, because my Joe sees things the same way. Instead of seeing the modesty with which the farmers in our area live, you see their pride. Instead of seeing the boarded up doors and windows of Tiffin's old courthouse, you see the majestic beauty that it was before it got too expensive to maintain for our humble town. Instead of noticing all the empty storefronts, you find the bookstore gems wedged between them and then make friends with the owner!
Thank you for our little Max, who shares your name, but his personality is yours alone! Forever I'll carry the priceless memory of gazing out from one of the stores we were exploring during your stay only to see 3 of the most precious men in my life; my son and my husband, standing next to the man who made them my treasures-you.
Thank you for loving your wives; Shauna until the day she died, and now Kathleen, who we love and are so grateful to have as part of our family. Because of your example, my husband loves me and our children unconditionally and with a quiet fierceness that few women get to experience, and I am so grateful to you for it.
So thank you, dear Joe, for all you've given me- my husband, the wonderful man he aspires to be, for he dreams of being like you; and the father to my children, children who will grow up secure in their father's love, just like your Joey did.
Come again soon! Max still looks out the window and asks where Grandpa Joe is...We love you so much. Thank you for being you.
Love, your daughter-in-law,
Little Red
PS~here are some pictures from your trip!
Ummmmm, I think we're lost! Corn maze 1, Borich family 0
Pickin' the perfect pumpkins...
Check out the expressions of each of their faces!
Behind every great man is a great woman (and an adoring child)!
It has been our tradition since we left Pocatello to set up the camera tripod and take a family picture the night we carve pumpkins. How wonderful that for this night, we were not alone!
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