Admissions (ad mish' uns): things confessed. I've heard that confessions are good for the soul. I'm releasing some of mine so that I can continue to heal and be the woman God wants me to be, the wife Joe deserves, the mother my children deserve, the friend my friends deserve, the daughter my parents deserve, and the sister my siblings deserve. Only when I have achieved these things will I be the woman that I want to be.
Admission 1- Coaching can be a tiring profession and the Borich family is tired. We have been tired for a while now. We felt like we were just in a rough patch, though, and we hadn't earned the rite of passage to the ideal job yet. The majority of coaching families experience rough patches-it's the nature of the beast. The beast in control of the coaching life is a nasty bitch, though, that had an unrelenting hold on our lives.
Admission 2- I was a poor coach's wife, and for once I don't make this reference monetarily. My parents were at every game I danced or cheered at, every play or concert, every EVERYTHING! I was resentful that Joe couldn't be at Mykah's soccer games or school functions. I was also anticipating more heartache as the boys get older and involved in their own stuff. I found myself already dreading being the only Borich parent on the sidelines or in the audience, and the boys are only 4 and 2. What I was supposed to do was put on my fake happy face and convince everyone that it worked for our family. Everyone reading this knows that's not one of my strengths! I sucked at it and I can't say that I would change it if I could.
Admission 3- I'm a nerd. I am! I love school and I'm really good at it. I believe that is a gift from God and I want to develop it. It's hard to have any goals outside of football when football controls our lives, and I felt horribly selfish for wanting to have the opportunity to stay in school. Most of the coach's wives that I know are (or at least seem) so selfless, not selfish. However, I have talked to some who do what I've been doing, which is say the "right" thing about the unique characteristics of the coaching profession. Meanwhile, her heart is breaking under the continuous sacrifices that coaching requires.
Admission 4- Joe has been struggling. I knew when he told me he wanted to get his Master's degree that his faith in the coaching profession was wavering. Joe is just traditional enough that he feels people should be rewarded and punished based on their own merit. Coaching doesn't necessarily work that way. A football coach can be fired just because he works for an unethical, morally corrupt person. A football coach can be jobless based solely on another's poor decisions, including those of mentally deficient 18-22 year old boys. The opposite is also true. A piss-poor coach can be ridiculously successful on another's shoulder pads.
Admission 5- Coaching is a social network. Joe has many friends and acquaintances throughout the profession. But he never wanted to solicit those friends for jobs. He believes that when it comes to a job like the one at TU, he shouldn't have to have everyone he knows flood the Athletic Director with recommendations. We'll never know if that would have made a difference in the AD's decision, and it doesn't matter to us. We accept the decision as God's will for our family.
Admission 6- We dreaded moving to Tiffin. We passed up the opportunity in 2009, then resisted all thoughts of Tiffin until Joe accepted the job as a last resort in February. We know now that God allowed us a second chance to come here, and we almost blew it again! As we pulled into town close to midnight on April 24th, 2010, I was completely void of optimism.
Then we fell in love in a very short amount of time! We fell in love with the university, the YMCA, our church, our babysitter (and her family), my part-time job... we fell in love with the ENTIRE community and all it offers. We truly believe that God wants us here, and we were absolutely devastated when Joe didn't get the job we wanted. At the time, that was the only way we could be here, so now what?!!
Admission7- It's time for a change. Joe was offered a job as an Admissions Counselor for TU. Yesterday, he accepted it. We will be staying in Tiffin and both continuing our educations. Instead of recruiting players, he'll recruit students. He'll work Monday through Friday, with the occasional Saturday for a college function.
Turns out that Joe was also silently struggling with the kind of dad he wants to be. His parents were like mine. They came to all of his games and he has not been able to handle being absent. How can he be like his wonderful father if his lifestyle prevents doing so?
Another struggle Joe had was being tied to another person-good, bad, or indifferent. It's almost impossible to let your light shine when someone's shadow completely covers it! Now, Joe will be held accountable for Joe's performance. Period.
We have decided to be a "normal" family since the opportunity presented itself. We feel that this job shares some characteristics with coaching and will provide some balance to Joe's life, to my life, and to the lives of our children. We feel this opportunity is God showing His will for us and we are excited to see where it leads and the doors and windows it opens. We still believe the coaching door had to be slammed in our faces to make us turn this direction. For now, that helps take some of the sting out of the rejection we can't help but feel from the coaching job.
Coaching is a family decision and the Borich family is choosing to take a break. Thanks to our families for your constant and unwavering support. You deserve a break from the craziness, too! We don't know if this Admissions job is the best decision, but we feel it's the right one for our family at this moment in our lives, which seem to be sailing by too quickly. Ultimately there is no way to know if the decisions we make are the perfect ones, so we do the best we can through prayer and faith.
This will be my last post to "The Coaching Life...by a Coach's Wife." When I post next, I will change the title to "Team Borich" because our family is the team that matters most. The Bengals, Big Red, and Dragons will just be teams we cheered for along the way. All of our stops will be part of our unique story that I will continue to share as it unfolds.
God Bless You, for He has surely blessed us! Thanks for stopping by...
4 comments:
absolutely beautiful! Yes god intended for this I am sure. Unanswered prayers (or that you think are unanswered) are generally the biggest blessing of all. From where I sit "Team Borich" sounds like a winning team.
Love you honey.
Mom
Megan,
You have said so many things here that I have wanted to say but never have. There is a social networking website for coaches wives (like Facebook for wives) but it talks about how wonderful being a coaches wife is and how supportive we can be. I wanted a place where I could bitch about being the only parent at the sporting event. Like you and Joe, my mom was there at every single game (dad had to work so didn't make too many) and that has always been a big deal to me. To know that I will always be the only one there is hard.
What you said about your life and life's ambitions always being on hold because you are controlled by the coaching life is true, too. Even just making plans for a couple weeks in advance isn't easy. A recruiting trip may pop up and there just isn't money in the budget for going out with friends AND a babysitter. A late practice is called for. And weekends? What the heck are those from August - April (hockey season)?
Oh, and the comments about people in other jobs like, "Oh, they have a huge house and nice cars, but the husband has to work long hours. Is that really a fair trade?" Um. Hello?!!! What about those of us whose husbands work long hours, travel a lot and are just scraping to get by because the coaching life doesn't pay?
I hope Joe enjoys his job and the "normal" life. For all the prestige that coaching has, that's nothing compared to "normal".
Thank you for this post and if I didn't think it would possibly hurt Scott's chances for a job in the future, all of the above would be my next (long overdue) post on my blog. See, again, sacrificing for "the life".
Good luck and I am glad you are able to stay in Tiffin. I'm sure they love you there, as much as you love being there. God bless all of you!
How fitting that your entry is Admissions and that is where Joey has found his spot.
Another definition is "to enter" which is fitting that you are entering a new chapter in your lives.
Love you again
Mom
Megan,
What a beautiful, elegant expression of your feelings and your life. I have been praying for you and your family and I'm grateful that you shared this blessing from God in your life with the rest of us. It is always amazing how Great our God is and how He knows our needs even before we realize we have them. I'm so happy you have come through the storm and are reaping the joy God has in store for you and your wonderful family.
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