Deep in the Season of Harvest

There is a stark contrast between the fall in New York and the fall here in Ohio.  I find myself missing the vibrancy of the colors during the changing of the leaves that we were so blessed to experience for 3 fall seasons in New York.  Here in Ohio, we only get glimpses of the colors we were once surrounded by.  There aren't as many color-changing trees here, but we are in the middle of harvest and I find myself filled with new awe.  The back roads that we so often frequent have been lined with row after row of corn.  It's so flat here that the rows of corn provide the only height variation.  When we returned from our visit home this summer, the flat landscape had been replaced by corn stalks taller than our car. 

We've been watching as the corn is harvested.  The first change we watched was the husks of corn forming on each stalk.  Then the stalks began to fade from their vivid, deep green into a straw-like yellow.  As I watched the stalks change color, I was overcome with awe for the stalks that were yellowing, but still green for the most part.  Like the stalks, I get to watch while my children grow and blossom into the various stages of childhood and adolescence.  Next came when one side of the road had been harvested, but not the other side, or half a field disappeared to harvest. 

Now that my little Maxie is 4, he reminds us of Mykah at 4.  That word, us, is a gift to me-to be able to say to Joe, "Remember when...", instead of "When Mykah was this age..."  Joe and I now share the memories, instead of me filling him in on the years that he missed, but it's yet another painful lesson in time and how quickly it passes.  It was only yesterday when Mykah was 4, wasn't it?  It's humbling to realize how quickly 6 years has gone by.

This coaching life is fast-paced, even in sleepy Ohio.  If we don't pause to watch the leaves change, or the corn harvested, we miss an opportunity that we may have taken away from us.  We can't live how or where we live and say "Maybe next year, we'll..."  Our next year could be anywhere, which brings me to me and how I feel like the now empty fields.

I'm struggling.  I feel completely stripped of all I've produced so far and I long for the time when I'm led into my next season of harvest, because I feel empty.  About 3 weeks ago, I was in a particularly gloomy place emotionally.  I'm tired of the way we've lived for the last 4 years, but I love it, and that statement will be fully understood only by my fellow coaching wives.  As I sat by my friend in church (Joe doesn't get to attend with me during the season here), I found myself unable to stop the tears from streaming down my face, completely vulnerable and deeply longing to know the plans God has in store for us.  Just when I found myself calming, our pastor dropped a bomb.  He said, "If you're praying for God to change your circumstances, stop.  Instead, pray for God to change YOU, so YOU can change your circumstances."  KA-BOOM!!

So, I'm asking for your help.  Please remind me of this when I get weary again.  I'm doing well in school, and I know my degree is a way for me to change our circumstances.  I now also finally know what it is that I want to do with my degree.  I will follow in the footsteps of my mom, who has done so much for so many, for so little in return.  She's been a vessel for numerous people to change their circumstances and I pray that someday I'll be the inspiration that she is.  I don't want to feel trampled down, like the cornstalks that have been harvested.  I want to see it as an opportunity to prepare for the next harvest.

So for now, I'm going to be selfish.  I'm going to drive around these cornfields and be reminded to prepare for the next season of harvest (By the way, this reference in no way refers to babies!).  I'm going to appreciate the various seasons that my little people are in and the harvest of love that my beautiful husband heaps on me every day.  The last thing I want to share today is the scripture that powers me through this crazy life.  "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.  In all your ways, acknowledge Him and He shall direct your path."  Proverbs 3:5-6

The Lighthouse

I am in awe of lighthouses. I love their simple but powerful beauty, especially among the rocky shores and the sometimes rough and dangerous waters of the sea. I think of their beacons of light, circling around and around, illuminating an otherwise dark and intimidating night and feel immediate comfort. When I picture a lighthouse in my mind's eye, I simultaneously experience a feeling of joyful relief as I imagine a weary ship captain's first glimpse of a lighthouse close to his home, knowing that if he just follows the light, it will guide him through the rest of his journey.

Imagine the fear and the confusion and the anxiety that captain must feel when the light within the lighthouse is allowed to burn out. The internal workings of the lighthouse might still function, moving around and around, going through the motions of being a lighthouse, but missing its most critical gift. The lighthouse keeper may even painstakingly put a new coat of bright white paint on the outside of the lighthouse and genuinely feel his attempts to overcome the lack of light are enough to diminish the effects. Next, he plants flowers and shrubs and trees around the base of the lighthouse, and a nice, white picket fence, thinking of how beautiful the landscape of the lighthouse will be during the daytime hours. That has to make up for the burned out bulbs, right?!

The captain knows when approaching it that the lighthouse is close by. Even through torrential downpours and sky high waves, he knows the water well enough, even in the black of night, to sense where the lighthouse should be. He pushes back his bright yellow rain hat and long, straggly hair and clears the salty water from his eyes. He looks toward the shore to the lighthouse, eager to experience the rush of feelings it sparks in him. Tonight, however, its light is completely extinguished. The disappointment he must feel is overwhelming. In the dark, he can't see the new paint or the flowers, he just knows that there is no light to guide him and he must find his own way. Home just doesn't feel like home without the light he knows so well. He knows its comfort in the morning as it lights his way out to a new adventure and he knows the joy it brings him to come home to it during the night after a long journey. In the light of the next day, he braves the rocky shores around the lighthouse to see for himself if it's really the same one he's always known. In the daytime, it is still a beautiful picture, especially with the new paint and landscaping, but he craves the comfort of its light and he knows he won't rest easy until its beacon of light is restored for all to see.

Life can feel like rough seas sometimes and we all need a lighthouse. My favorite lighthouse, aside from God and Joe, has always been my sister. Brooke has always exuded beauty and power. But over the last few years, her light was covered and then let to go dimmer and dimmer until it was almost completely extinguished. I don't have words for how much I have longed for that light.

The best part of this year's vacation was basking in the light that is again shining brightly from Brooke. Siblings (especially those younger) create such a wonderful mix of fury and resentment and loyalty and love, but few have the power to inflict all those emotions at once onto their big sister. Brooke can and I love her deeply for it. Welcome back, B, and thank you for being the beauty and strength and light that lets me know I'm home.

To my new brother, Troy- Thank you. Thank you for not only appreciating the beauty of the landscape surrounding the lighthouse, but for lovingly changing the bulbs that so desperately needed to be changed. Mostly, though, thank you for just being there to lend support during the uncovering of the parts of the light that weren't extinguished, just covered. I can only thank you by showing you the unconditional love that I was raised with, because that unconditional love is what makes my family so special. It's who we are and it's what we do. You earned your place within our family when you allowed my sister to shine once again. I love you, Kevin!! Thank you forever...



With that being said, Brooke & Troy had a baby boy in April and we got to be part of the family celebration of his blessing. Dawson Clem Young is as damn cute as his parents and it was such a joy to finally meet him!



Joe & I cooked for the celebration so that Brooke could spend time with her new mother-in-law, Janice (who is a DOLL, by the way!). Joshie Bear must've been able to taste Mama & Dad's cooking, because he made himself right at home during chow time! In fact, we think he was trying to save some in his binkie for a bedtime snack...



Uncle Troy ALMOST got Maxie on Cracker, but not quite!



The funniest event of the whole day, though, was Joe thinking he needed to learn how to rope, which is Troy's favorite pastime. We were all crying with laughter as Troy patiently tried to show Joe the finer points of roping. Sadly, this wasn't even brought on by alcohol!





All in all, it was a great day and we enjoyed getting to know Troy's family and spending time together as a blended family in Brooke's new home. I love you, sissy! Welcome back.

This & That

This is my section of pictures that I love, but they don't really fit in to one of my pre-arranged categories...

This is Josh taking advantage of some sprinkler time at Nana & Papa's house. Ewwwwww!


Aunt B. and Sydnee Kay


Bodie begging for cake


Uncle Trevor being Mr. Fix-it


Nana & Sydnee


Keylee workin' her daddy while Uncle Braydn watches


Keylee's broken eye...everything is better with a band-aid!


Auntie M. finally meets Dawson!


It just wouldn't be a picture with Grandpa & Grandma Smith if one of my kids weren't crying! Last year it was Max, this year-Josh. Sorry, Dad!

Cowabunga Bay with The Grundys

We had so much fun with Kelly, Chad, and their kiddos at this wonderful water park in Draper.  I only have pictures of Josh because Max was having so much fun that he wasn't in one place long enough to be anything but a blur on the picture! Unfortunately, Mykah wasn't with us either, but we texted her lots of pictures and thought of her all day.  Chad left early, like a trooper, to get us all In-N-Out burger...mmmmmmmmmmm! 




Josh hated this life jacket, so it didn't last long. His favorite things were these little fountains! They were located at the end of the pool that only had a few inches of water, so we let him lose the jacket and just hang out! He was content to sit with Aunt Kelly and her baby bump to receive the occasional squirt in the face!





Contrary to his face in this picture, he also loved the lazy river and we had fun just floating around!



Thanks for this wonderful memory, Kelly and Chad. We loved spending the day with you! 

Trains and a Glow

It's only fitting that Grandpa Joe and Grandma Kathleen took us to the train museum in Ogden, since little Maxie's gene pool is identical to Grandpa Joe's! Trains are Max's new passion and he was glowing all day.   Thank goodness we remembered the Thomas the Train cap!












Josh had to get in on the fun.






In the end, though, he was just plain tired!



Since Grandpa Joe's dad was a train engineer at the Kennecott Copper Mine in Bingham Canyon, UT, we all have a special place in our hearts for the sight of his great-grandsons having such awe and reverence for trains!